Go for “better” not for “right,” it’s smarter, more fun, and much more effective
DOING IT BETTER, NOT “RIGHT”…. I’d love you to think about the freedom and possibilities this can bring to not only your work and play and interactions with your child, but in your own life, of yoga, or cooking , or building ongoing love with your partner, or your job. This is what I offer you, this concept, this distinction:
This is one of those wonderful ideas that are in the category of the “illusive obvious.” If you are trying to get your golf swing just exactly “right,” one of three things can be happening: 1. You can be tensing up because you never quite “get it right.” 2. You can be out of the present since you avoid sensing and awaring what you are doing now ( sic.. awaring is the verb form, it’s new. Give it a chance). Your attention is scattered into ranking and comparing and judging yourself. 3. Even if you get it “right,” ( which will usually be judged, incorrectly on how far or well the ball was hit, rather than how it felt in your body), you will be stuck with that as an upper limit. If you are interested in better, you have endless possibilities: Better in more relaxed. Better in sensing your hands and toes. Better in following your breathing. Better in watching the ball. Better in relaxing your neck. And all these, and many more aspect, have no limit. You can keep getting better and better. Better at learning. Better at having fun. Better at having fun learning. With your Autistic or Special Needs Child, it’s the same distinction. ( Remember the fundamental premise of the Anat Baniel work: the perception of differences is the fundamental unit of intelligence) If a child is stimming. How can you join it? What would better be? (This isn’t obvious, but once you get into this game, slower can be better, faster can be better, sillier can be better, singing with it can be better. The skies the limit. Brains love to learn something new. That’s their job. Coming to lessons is the easiest way to get a full force feel for this as a way of life. If you cerebral palsy child “can’t roll” over, what can she do? Move her head? How can that be better. Kick her leg? How can that be better. Not right But better, so it means four or five ways. And better in all that can be a subset of rolling over, but rolling over isn’t “right,” just because “they” ( the famous they with their books and charts) say this is a “milestone” for such and such an age. This obviously ( in elusive ways) applies to everything you do in life. Think it over. PS, don’t get the “right” answer about how to apply this to your life. Get a bunch of “pretty good” ideas and try them out, and if they “work,” try them a little better. PSS, If it’s fun and interesting and gets you into the present, that’s a good taste of what “better” is all about. Great. Call soon for a series of 10 lessons. This is not just for your child. It’s for your peace, your power and your joy in life.